EUROPE, Fr. Elmar Busse. 
The 3rd European Family Congress will take place at Pentecost in Schoenstatt, Germany. It’s motto: “United with You in Love.” About 90 families from 17 European countries come to Schoenstatt at Pentecost 2010 to share experiences on family and marriage life. The Congress is part of the Cooperation Project of European Schoenstatt Family Movements. In a certain way, it is sort of a meeting on the Horse Whisperer.
When the film “The Horse Whisperer” was shown in the German cinemas in 1998, it rapidly became a hit. The actor and director, Robert Redford, as the horse whisperer Tom Booker, contributed greatly to turning the eponymous novel by the English author, Nicholas Evans, published in 1995, into a film that touched all hearts.
The story: Thirteen-year-old Grace Graves suffered a tragic riding accident. Her friend and her horse were killed immediately when they collided with a truck on an icy road. Grace lost her lower leg and her horse was so traumatised that it would not allow anyone near it. Grace’s mother, Annie, a successful journalist, as well as her father, who ran a successful legal firm, looked for ways to help their daughter back into life, because she had barricaded herself behind a wall of anger, sorrow and feelings of guilt. Both parents represent the successful go-getters of New Your. In the end Annie came across the address of a so-called “horse whisperer” in Western USA. He travelled to the East Coast to see Grace’s horse and then refused to treat it. Her mother, who was used to success, could not come to terms with her feeling of helplessness and travelled with her disabled daughter and traumatised horse to Tom Booker’s ranch a thousand miles away.
No home
On the long journey mother and daughter came into conflict – precisely at the national monument commemorating the Battle of Little Bighorn, when the Indians destroyed the troops of George Armstrong Custer in June 1876. Grace yelled at her mother, “You decide! You always decide! You behave as though what other people want is important to you, but it really doesn’t mean a thing to you.” Shocked by this outburst of anger from her daughter, Annie ran away from the car and into the gloaming. At long last, at this place of tremendous suffering, she was able to weep unhindered. She looked back on her life and remarked bitterly that throughout her life she had lived where she wasn’t wanted. America was not her home, nor would England be if she returned there. In each country she was treated as though she came from the other. The truth was that she came from neither. She had no home. Had not had one since her father died. She had drifted aimlessly, without a family, without roots. She had at one time considered this a great strength. She had the ability make a contribution wherever she was. It was easy for her to fit in, to ingratiate herself with every group, to cope with every situation, to become part of every culture. She knew instinctively what was expected of her, who to know and what to do if she was to win. And in her work, to which she had been addicted for so long, this talent had helped her to acquire everything that was worth having. Yet ever since Grace’s accident all her achievements had seemed worthless. Since she had lost all access to herself, she no longer had access to her child. So she suffered from feelings of guilt. For her activity had become a substitute for emotions.
He simply doesn’t know any more how to
The Horse Whisperer stands for a completely different way of life. He is down-to-earth and connected with nature, he is not a go-getter, but tries through his gift of observation, his sensitivity and his psychological talents, to empathise with traumatised horses. It wasn’t easy for Tom Booker to explain to Annie what was necessary. In one of the first conversations he said, “At the moment we want to try to make him understand again what it means to be a horse. The other horses know this. They behave like horses in the wild, that is, like herd animals. If they have a problem, they support each other. But Pilgrim has forgotten this completely. He believes he doesn’t have a single friend in the world any more. Yet he wants to find friends; he simply doesn’t know any more how to.” As the novel continues, Tom Booker manages to win the trust of both Pilgrim and Grace. Patience, tenacity and empathy have made this process of healing possible. For the people from the city it almost seemed like witchcraft. At the end of the novel Grace has been transformed from a withdrawn and angry girl into a confident and outgoing young woman who, despite her handicap, is able to ride once more – even on Pilgrim, the horse on which she had had the accident, and which had also been healed.
Finding themselves again
When about 90 families from 17 European countries come to Schoenstatt at Pentecost 2010, they will be dealing with the questions illustrated almost as a prototype in this novel or film. How do the people of today, who are marked by and often also driven by a seemingly necessary mobility, by pressure to perform, and an often killing competitive mindset, find themselves again? What really counts in life?
What haunt people today are problems with relationships. Strained and broken relationships in families leave behind wounds in the soul. Fear of further hurts and the inability to build up and cultivate friendships drive them into loneliness. For many it is very difficult to give and accept emotional closeness.
Fr Kentenich grew up in an orphanage and was able to empathise with this modern form of poverty through is own experiences. His own way of healing and maturation became for many who met him the way out of their poverty of relationships into a riches of relationships.
The third European Congress for Marriage and Family Life in Schoenstatt wants to present Fr Kentenich’s way and the many and varied initiatives he took to mitigate this suffering today. The aim of the Congress is to facilitate a Europe-wide exchange of experiences. The place Fr Kentenich preferred to begin is the family.
The days of the Congress will concentrate on certain focal points and subjects:
* How can we build up stable relationships?
* How can we personally arrive at bonding experiences and pass them on to our children?
On the three days of the Congress we will focus on the following:
* Knowing where I am at home – Local attachments
* Knowing who the important people are for me – personal attachments
* Knowing where I can take my bearings – attachment to ideas
- More information on European collaboration of Schoenstatt Family Movements: www.midili.eu
