Hope in the shadow of the Shrine of Bellavista

Help for women who suffer the consequences of abortion

Capacitacion,  noviembre de  2005 Capacitation, november 2005 Ausbildungsgruppe im November 2005
Equipo capacitado The team with their certificates Nach der Zertifikatüberreichung
Equipo en Santuario Team in the Shrine Team im Heiligtum
Finalizacion del curso de capacitación Closing of a capacitation course Abschluss eines Ausbildungskurses
Inauguración de un curso de capacitación Start of a course Einführungskurs
Presentación en Congreso Provida Chile Presentation at the Pro Life Congress in  Chile Vorstellung beim Lebensschutz-Kongress in Chile Fotos: Bunster © 2006

CHILE, Elizabeth Bunster/mkf. Hope –that’s the word describing a way of reconciliation and forgiveness through an encounter with the love and mercy of God, based on "Rachael’s Vineyard Post-Abortion Ministry." The ministry was founded in Milwaukee in 1985 and spread to all of the dioceses of the United States. It was then founded in Chile in 1999, in the shadow of the Schoenstatt Shrine of Bellavista, initiated by a group of professional laity of the Schoenstatt Movement, advised and accompanied by Schoenstatt Sisters and Fathers.

It was during the "Week for Life" celebrated in Germany, when Elizabeth Bunster and her husband, members of the Federation of Families from Chile, posted a testimony in the "Meeting" (guestbook) of schoenstatt.de: "It is good to know that we can share as brothers and sisters in the Covenant of Love and of the mission on a virtual site. Undoubtedly, as our beloved Pope John Paul II said, it is necessary to use the new medium of the internet to unite forces to evangelize, especially about Christ. With this, we can unite ideas and tasks…

We would like to place our apostolate, which we have carried out for seven years in the Shrine, at the disposal of those who are interested. This apostolate is Project Hope that provides pastoral accompaniment to people, especially women who have suffered from the experience of an abortion and who suffer from post-abortion syndrome. It pastorally accompanies women in pain sometimes for many years, who have lived apart, suffering loneliness, and who have re-encountered the love and mercy of God. We ask for prayers so that the Blessed Mother can continue building up and healing so many people, and if anyone, especially in Latin America needs more information or wants to learn more about this work in order to begin this work in their city, we are here to help…united in the mission for a culture of life, greetings from the continent of Hope…"

The post-abortion syndrome: life will never be the same

"Hope is a pastoral accompaniment provided for women, men and families who have experienced the loss of a child before birth, especially through an abortion. This help is offered by professionals, with a pastoral focus. Its aim is to provide for a process of acceptance, reconciliation and of encounter with the child and for the person who suffers from post-abortion syndrome, the service is provided with a welcoming attitude, understanding and confidentiality. The beginning of the project was facilitated through contact with Vicki Thorn and the support of material to initiate this work in Chile, by Mr. Dan Zeidler, from Milwaukee, president of Family Life Council and representative of the Latin American Alliance for the Family in the United States.

There are many who flatly deny that abortion has any consequences for the woman, the man, and even the relative. There are others, who with the recent study of the post-abortion syndrome, want to open up a discussion about protecting life, looking not only at the life of the unborn baby but by also looking at the life of its mother, who "will never be the same", says Vicky Thorn.

A sensation of emptiness, anxiety, loneliness, regret, a feeling of blame, rage, pain, a profound harm to self-esteem, depression, even the attempt of suicide, maladjustment in the relationship with the family and other people – are only some of the symptoms of post-abortion in women. The man denies his sadness and the interior feeling of loss, and many times he expresses his feelings through anger, aggressiveness, and control, for fear that his masculinity will be placed in doubt.

My life before and after the abortion

A young woman, who participated in Project Hope, recounts her experience:

"Some time back, when I thought about my life, I divided it in two parts, before the abortion and after it.

Before the abortion, as a life full of projects, colors and dreams; after the abortion it is as if the light of life had been extinguished, I could not think about all the dreams and projects, I felt that I did not deserve anything, not even to continue living. It is as if my life had become full of darkness, desolation and pain, in which the words love, happiness, joy and family had been snatched from my vocabulary and heart. After the abortion I fell into hopelessness, my life was transformed into hopelessness and in a large part I made it this way, since if someone wanted to give me their love or friendship, I would distance myself from that person, since I was very much afraid of suffering and that I would be harmed again.

Now, as I look back at all that happened, it seems so far away, as if it had happened a long time ago; now I can look back at my past, my life history, I can look back thanks to Project Hope, since during all the time that I was in the program I was able to recuperate many important things for my present life. One of them is to believe that things don’t just happen and that the hand of God is behind each thing that happens, and learning about the project was not a coincidence, it was because God wanted it to happen this way. However, it was very difficult at the beginning, since it meant revealing the secret, to reopen the wound, which I was trying to close and to forget".

Project Hope changed my life

The young woman continues: "When I started going to the project it was very painful, since fear and insecurity returned, one of them was to trust, to show my frailty and the great pain within, one which did not even allow me to cry; and I arrived at the session on the first day with all of this. However, with time I was able to recuperate little by little, it was as if a light within me began to ignite and it would begin to illuminate within, as if something within me was coming to life again. And that life is named Felipe, the recuperation of my child and to feel like his mother for the first time made me live within myself again to recuperate this feeling of life, which I had lost with the abortion. However, in spite of everything I began to feel like a MOTHER and HOPE was reborn.

To be honest, Project Hope changed my life: it is now divided into three parts: before the abortion, after the abortion and after experiencing Project Hope, since like the bird, Phoenix, I feel that I was reborn from the ashes. Now to summarize all that I have experienced in the project, I have found out all it has meant for me and how much it has helped me to heal my wounds and to recuperate the most important thing that a person has in life, and that is the hope of life, of belief, of dreaming, loving and feeling loved, by myself and by others, by my son and by God himself".

My child who was not born but who lives…

Some of the elements that Project Hope offers are education about post-abortion syndrome, to teach how to determine the personal connection of abortion, to free the emotional pain and the repressed anger, to restore broken relationships with themselves, with others and with God, to establish a relationship with the aborted child and to learn about self-help tools.

To contact "Hope", a number is called and a professional (from the trained teams) is provided, and four months of individual and confidential accompaniment is offered.

The first step is for the woman to tell all her story, to acknowledge who she was before the pregnancy, then to identify the pain, the impact that it has on her life. "I feel like I have committed a crime that has not been judged and that was not sentenced." But I have judged myself and I have condemned myself". The woman is helped to discover what influenced her to have an abortion:

"I went to my mother to tell her about my pregnancy and she told that I had to terminate the pregnancy, well at the age of 18 my life was over, there was no future".

"My boyfriend arranged everything for the abortion; he said a child would interfere with our plans. Once I had the abortion, he disappeared".

The abortion is experienced in different ways:

"It was as if I was another person, a machine that said yes to everything that was asked of me, the only thing I wanted was for it to be over".

Along with the pain there is anger against people, towards God and to oneself:

"During the abortion my family accompanied to the doctor’s office, after we returned home no one, in all this time, has asked me how I feel; it is as if had never happened: I always cry alone and I do not want to be with them".

A father recounted: "I could not stop her from having the abortion, I remained quiet for fear of losing her and what I lost was the possibility of holding my child in my arms".

The woman’s pain is continual: "When I had my child with me I told him I would defend him from everyone, and I did not fulfill that promise: I was such a coward and now no matter how much I cry no one can give my child back to me, I am only a spectator before the images of the past…I cannot go back".

The three "pillars" of Project Hope:

The woman is also a victim of abortion and she needs to reencounter God and her child giving him an identity and forgiving herself. Project Hope is a pastoral accompaniment, not a Psychotherapy Program. Each creature of God has a unique and an original reception in the infinite Love and Mercy of God.

From Bellavista to several places in Chile, Ecuador and Peru

In Chile this work is carried out in two regions, Santiago – Metropolitan Region, and in the south in Coyhaique (Region XI). In Santiago it is established at five points besides the Shrine of Bellavista, one of them being the Vicarship for the Family, administered by the Archbishop of Santiago. For this reason, the pastoral work has the support of Monsignor Cardinal Francisco Javier Errazuriz.

The first session offered motivational talks. The third session and first training was carried out in the city of Guayaquil, Ecuador. It was attended by twelve people , convoked by the committee for the Laity of the Archbishop of Guayaquil. This group will continue to be accompanied, at the beginning of the project, to ensure its continuity. This training received the support of the Sisters of Mary, especially by Sister Virginia Alvarez, members of the 1^st course of the Family Federation of Guayaquil, who also participated.

This experience was presented at the Second International Congress of the Pro-life of Lima in November of 2005, motivated by several people and at the request of Monsignor Kay Schmalhausen, who until April of this year was the Rector for the Institute of Marriage and the Family of St. Paul’s Catholic University of Arequipa. Recently, between March 30^th and April 1^st, a training session for more than 65 professionals from different disciplines and different areas of southern Peru was held on the grounds of this University.

The University has named, Mrs. Neldy Mendoza, as the person who will coordinate the project, as a part of the Institute of Marriage and the Family of St. Paul’s University of Arequipa. The incorporation of Project Hope as one of its services was approved during its Academic Council.

Another development is that the director of the Inter-American Institute of the Woman of Lima has been contacted, and she attended the training at Arequipa, an entity that was also attended by organizers of the Second International Pro-life Congress, that expressed their interest and desire to extend this service in the capital with a group of trained persons.

Eight years after the abortion: My visit to the Shrine has become a necessity

Eight years after an abortion, a woman gives this testimony:

"I believe that ‘Hope’ has the perfect name; it could not be another, since it constitutes hope, a time of reflection, of finding answers that ease the soul, of acceptance, of forgiveness, of encounter with the spiritual part that at the end brings us closer to the unborn child. During these months I have been able to establish a dialogue with myself and become closer to God; each one of the meetings is full of challenges, perhaps, many times tremendously painful ones, but that allowed me to find a way out of years and years of anguish, to see from the outside and accompanied by Elizabeth and of Father Juan Pablo, they made it possible to go through each one of these stages in a way that I would come out strengthened instead of being harmed and above all I began to know my child, taking gradual contact with my child who has certainly always been with me, but whom I did not give him his place. Today when I make him present I feel a great relief, a joy and an unimaginable inner peace, I also feel physically well and this, in fact, is a reflection of how I am spiritually comforted. My visits to the Shrine have now become a necessity, I feel fulfilled walking through its gardens, conversing with the Blessed Mother, opening my heart to her. I feel that these months have become an experience of life for me, I am grateful to God for this gift of having chosen me, for leading me to Project Hope, for having met Elizabeth and Father who have generously dedicated their time to me and to my son Jose Pablo, and have accompanied me with prayers and affection. All of this makes me feel fortunate that I can see life with another face, other eyes which make of me, as I told God in a letter, a better person and I can give this to those who are with me and mainly I have made my child concrete with my love during all the time I have to live. I wish with all my heart that this Project is supported more and more and that it expands, and that new and generous people will join this accompaniment that so many women do not know about and who need it to live closer to God, closer to their children and who need the interior peace which ultimately makes us happier."

Translation: Celina M. Garza, Harlingen, TX / Christi Jentz, Milwaukee, USA