St. Valentine’s Day the Schoenstatt Way

The martyr priest who had to die because he was caught marrying Christian couples … and a celebration of marriage and faithfulness in the Schoenstatt Center in Waukesha

Trabajo en el fondo: preparación de una cena festiva Behind the scenes: working for the festive dinner Hinter den Kulissen wird alles vorbereitet für ein Festessen
Celebración Celebration Es wird gefeiert
Música Girls playing Die Jugendlichen sorgten für festliche Musik
Misa Mass Messe
Toda una fiesta Table setting Festlich geschmückter Saal Fotos: Sr. Frances © 2006

USA, Judy Harlow. I contacted a major greeting card shop today to ask if they had any Valentines with a picture or reference to St. Valentine. After putting me on hold for a couple minutes, the young saleswoman reported, "No, I’m sorry we don’t." Among the approximately 2,000 Valentine cards in the store, with their verses and flowery words to convey messages of love, there isn’t a single one for the priest who is at the root of the celebration.

I can’t say I am surprised ... it’s just another indication of how commercialism can take an event and turn it into something entirely different, with someone usually benefitting monetarily.

Most of us know Valentinus, St. Valentine, was a priest and a martyr who was executed on Feb. 14th around the year 270. Far fewer people are aware of why he died.  St. Valentine was caught marrying Christian couples and aiding Christians who were being persecuted by the Roman Emperor Claudius. After attempting to convert the emperor, he was stoned and eventually beheaded.

A new tradition to be started

Now, Valentine’s Day means more roses being sold than any 10 to 20 other days of the year ... stores cluttered with hearts on red sweaters, shirts, socks ... even underwear ... songs referring to Valentines, tons of Valentine candies and on and on.

So what’s an alternative to all this commercialism? The Youth Girls at the Schoenstatt International Center (in Waukesha, Wisconsin), and their leaders, Sister Frances and Sister Gabriele Maria, have started a new tradition ... a Schoenstatt St. Valentine celebration with holy Mass, renewal of our vows and an opportunity affirm the fact married couples are instruments of God’s love. A dinner and program are also included.

This was the second year for the event, and looking at the participants, it is obvious it has appeal for young and old alike. The young couples give us older ones hope for the future ... hope there are Christian marriages who include and not exclude God as their third partner. And perhaps, the young look at us and see love doesn’t have to fade or disappear just because we have reached senior status.

Renewal of the marriage vows

The evening started with a beautiful liturgy and a reminder of the words Schoenstatt’s founder, Fr. Joseph Kentenich, offered to those at one of his Monday night talks in 1955. His words are still strong today, "We can say, We give a rose for a rose, heart for heart, sacrifice for sacrifice. We give all this in the covenant of love. The covenant is a complete exchange of hearts and exchange of love."

Then came the time to repeat vows with our spouses. Some words we recognized, the faithfulness in good days and in bad, in sickness and in health. As young twenty-year olds in 1962, my husband and I could not look in a crystal ball to see what all this would bring to us as a couple, but 43 years later, both of us agree the joys and blessings from God had far outweighed the crosses He asked us to carry. He was always there to help us with the crosses, anyway.

Other of the words were not included on our wedding day but hold much importance to those who have received this sacrament, especially in a society where one in two marriages do not last.

How important it was to say to each other, "God, our Father, we thank you for our children. Strengthen us with your Spirit in our union and help us to grow in love. Under the protection of the Blessed Mother, we want to always understand and live more deeply our mission as a married couple and become a blessing for many people."

Worth much more than a card or gift

Fr. Kentenich constantly stressed the fact strong marriages help produce strong families, and Schoenstatt gives us all a place and a way to face this challenge. Schoenstatt gives us confidence our MTA will help us to be holy families.

St. Valentine, the patron of happy marriages and also engaged couples, is another source of strength we can look to. He might not be included on any Valentine cards, but we know he was willing to put his life on the line to help Christian couples profess their love for one another sacramentally. The courage and love St. Valentine showed to others is certainly worth much more than a card or gift, and he will be a reminder how special our marriage is.