GERMANY, fma. “Dear Lord, please give me the wisdom to understand my boss. Give me the love to forgive him. Give me the patience to fathom his actions. Because if you give me the strength, I will give him a hiding.” This text card with a baby’s photo is also a way of coping with tensions, or reducing them. That there are a great many more possibilities, and also a great many more sources of tensions than the classic “Boss – employee” tension, is something the participants at the Jour Fixe for Leaders discovered on 21 July at Memholz from Manuela and Peter Miller, the founder members of the IKAF (German acronym for International Kentenich Academy for Leaders), who work as management consultants (www.inspiration-miller.de).
A mid-morning break in pairs, a successful site layout, time for a company outing, a surprisingly good and rapid donation project, implementing the social dimension of personnel management, leaving behind annoyances at work, a possibility for car-sharing which resulted in an inspirational conversation – the opening session of the Jour Fixe with the “successes of the week” has become a tried and tested element and tradition. It helps the participants to create a climate in which they can be open for the inspirations on offer, for one another, and for the attitude “What it all means FOR ME”, and inner freedom, which are the basic conditions for genuine growth and real life.
Learn to practice serious and sound criticism
Manuela and Peter Miller were able to communicate in a relaxed, expert and attractive way what tensions are, where tensions offer the potential and opportunity for growth, and that tensions are simply a part of life, because people think, feel, see, evaluate and react differently …
A tension exists between what everyone does and what I do: mainstream and my way! This is where the element of exercising and accepting criticism comes in.
“Firstly, to learn to exercise serious and sound criticism in our own Catholic camp. We Catholics are extremely weak in this; in particular our Church institutions are extremely weak in this. And when we become superiors, we will see how in next to no time we become weak in coping with criticism.”
Fr Kentenich spoke those words in 1930. It was a statement that gave rise to surprised reactions in those present. “I thought they were spoken by Pope Francis”, one remarked. His neighbour nodded.
Otherwise we are solid from the chin up
They come from Fr Kentenich, that Fr Kentenich who constructed his Movement not with harmony, but with tensions in mind: Those that are there anyhow – and if there aren’t enough, those that he consciously included. Because, “We have to muster the courage to practice sound self-criticism. If we don’t do it, we will be solid from the chin up in a few years. Please listen to what I say! Precisely those who are more inclined to be conservative are in the greatest danger…” So far Kentenich. Independence, initiative, small groups, being different – for Kentenich they not only don’t present a danger for the community, they become the source of greatest fruitfulness.
The lecturers illustrated this with many practical examples out of the everyday lives of families and businesses. They showed how tensions awaken life and liberate personal potential; why it is important to bring very different characters together into a team, instead of trying to create harmonious teams …
Then the matter of the number “6” on the floor. There is a business with a very moderate output every day, and there are two shifts. And nothing happens. Then someone drew the number 6 on the floor with chalk shortly before the change of shift. Each shift managed 6 units day after day without any increase. Next morning after the second shift the number 6 was erased and replaced with the number 7. That shift had managed to produce seven units compared with the previous shift. The numbers on the floor rose to 10.
The soul’s fish
Fr Kentenich described all the undigested impressions and swallowed hurts as “the soul’s fish”. It is just like the way fish behave in a frozen lake – and they jump to the surface unexpectedly when a similar experience appears even on the horizon. The over-reaction that follows is as difficult for others to understand as for ourselves. … At this point the faces became thoughtful. At the end of the talk a lively discussion started that enabled the lecturers to apply processes in Fr Kentenich’s pedagogy to personnel management and team leadership.
At first in the plenary session, then during the buffet in small and changing groups the discussion continued on the subject of tensions and their enormous potential, drawing in personal experiences at work.
Why do Emails annoy us so much?
One subject grew in importance: Emails – the tension between more rapid or more personal communication. Really? A conversation at table can be impersonal, a contact via Email can be very warm and personal … Or, are “Emails” – their number, their form, their demands, their insecurity – only a form to which various burning subjects have attached themselves? Perhaps a subject we need to work on – perhaps a subject for the next meeting of the IKAF …
Right at the end an experience that made everyone laugh heartily: “When we have really had a flaming row at home, we begin to talk our dialect – and then everything looks half as bad!”
Use huge tensions as potential. Practice serious criticism. Be open for ever new surprises. It is possible when solidarity that is not discussed or questioned upholds us. But only then.
